The Slammer
The Slammer
© 2008 BBC


The Slammer - Episode 6
Series 2 - First broadcast: Friday 2 May 2008, BBC ONE, 4:35pm

It's night-time at The Slammer, and Mr Burgess and the Governor are checking if all the inmates are locked up in their cells. While they're doing that, they're discussing the Freedom Show, which will take place the next day. The Governor's chosen another four brilliant acts, including the Ladder Man and Gerry Philips, who's a musical hand trumper. Also performing for their freedom will be Douglas Lee and his glass harp, and Andrea Alton, the amazing aerial performer. Andrea's already fast asleep.

When they arrive at Melvin and Pete's cell, they find Peter Nokio standing outside it, along with his puppet friend Titch. Mr Burgess orders him to get in his cell, but Nokio refuses. Peter and Titch are scared! They tell Mr Burgess that the night before, they saw strange flashing lights in the sky. They're convinced there was something hovering over the prison. Titch believes aliens are coming to abduct everyone! The Governor tells Pete and Titch not to worry. "This is a prison. Not only is it impossible for you to get out, it's also rather difficult for anyone else to get in!" Mr Burgess adds that this also includes "imaginary aliens" and forcefully locks up Pete in his cell.

A while later, everyone is fast asleep, apart from Pete and Titch, who are also keeping Melvin awake. They're convinced the flashing lights they saw the night before, are aliens. Suddenly the blue lights are back. It's a UFO!

> Watch: The aliens are coming!

The next morning all of the inmates are enjoying their breakfast. But Peter and Melvin are looking really tired. Mr Burgess comes up to them. He asks if they've seen any more spaceships. Pete replies that he doesn't know what Burgess is talking about. Melvin adds that he slept really well. However, when Burgess leaves, they both launch head first into their cereal bowls and start eating their breakfast in a somewhat peculiar way.

Later, Burgess and Jeremy Gimbert are patrolling the exercice yard. Gimbert tells Burgess he thinks there's something odd about Melvin and Pete. According to Burgess, there's always something odd about them. But then he notices that Melvin is licking the walls and Pete's dancing very strangely. Burgess orders them to the Governor's office.

> Watch: There's something odd about Melvin and Pete...

In the Guv's office, Melvin starts eating the plant on the Governor's desk! The Governor agrees they're behaving a bit strange. Burgess thinks they're up to something. But Jeremy thinks there's something else going on. "Hang on a sec. Maybe they're not themselves. What if Melvin and Pete have been abducted by aliens?!" Mr Burgess has noticed something, and starts pulling Pete's and Melvin's noses, only to reveal that Pete and Melvin are actually aliens! Everyone starts to scream! The Governor is shocked. "I don't believe it! Melvin and Pete really have been replaced by aliens! What have you done to my prisoners you slimy green extraterrestrials?!" The aliens start speaking in a strange language. Gimbert replies to them, in the same silly alien language! Gimbert tells Burgess the aliens speak Yurganalien, which is spoken by the Yurganaliens on planet Yurg. The Governor asks Jeremy how it's possible that he can speak the language. But Gimbert doesn't really know.

The conversation between Jeremy and the aliens continues. The aliens say they're holding Peter and Melvin captive on their space saucer. They will release them, but they have some demands. Mr Burgess is appalled! "Demands?! I'll give them demands!" he shouts. But as he's trying to pull their noses once again, they zap Burgess to the other side of the office! There's a bit of smoke coming out of his head. The aliens tell Jeremy they want a life-size cut-out of Sarah from Girls Aloud, a signed photo of the Chuckle Brothers and nice fresh mackerel. The Governor agrees on the deal.

> Watch: Jeremy Gimbert speaks Yurganalien

The Governor, Mr Burgess, Gimbert and the two aliens are standing at the Slammer's front gate when the spaceship returns to release Pete and Melvin. Jeremy asks them what it was like on the space saucer, but they can't seem to remember. The Governor's happy. And they're just back in time for the Freedom Show. Jeremy says the aliens would like to stay and watch the Freedom Show before going home. After the Freedom Show, everyone's standing at the front gate again to say goodbye to the aliens. But just as they go back inside the Slammer, Gimbert reveals his true identity...

> Watch: Freedom Show highlights
> Watch: Freedom Show results / Clapometer

The Results:
Ladder Man / 88.9
Gerry Philips / 74.0
Andrea Alton / 90.0
Douglas Lee / 87.3

Mr Burgess and the Guv

Peter Nokio doesn't want to go to sleep

Aliens at The Slammer!

Pete and Melvin are behaving very strangely

Aliens from the planet Yurg!

Oh dear...

The alien's flying saucer

Jeremy Gimbert