The Slammer
The Slammer
© 2008 BBC


The Slammer - Episode 3
Series 2 - First broadcast: Friday 11 April 2008, BBC ONE, 4:35pm

The Governor, Mr Burgess and Jeremy Gimbert are standing outside. They're awaiting a new inmate, the notorious Jake Leplant, a comedian who paralyses everyone with laughter. Leplant is considered to be the most dangerous act in show business. Leplant arrives at the prison wearing a straitjacket and a mask. The Governor tells Jeremy Leplant is wearing that mask for the protection of the two prison wardens escorting him to The Slammer. If Leplant would not be wearing the mask, he'd start joking, paralysing everyone around him. One of the prison wardens removes Jake's mask. "Have you got a yoga mat? It looks like I'll be in for a long stretch!" he jokes. The prison wardens are in stitches.

Leplant is taken to the Governor's office, constantly making jokes. When the Governor tells him he's a dangerous man, he replies that with his straitjacket on, he's completely 'arm-less. The Governor wants Leplant under constant watch. It's Freedom Showday, and he's chosen some great acts, including the Black Eagles, Duo Magic, Tamara Puzanova and Pupski. If Leplant would get near any of the performing prisoners, he could sabotage the entire show! The Governor says he's going to put his best prison wardens on the job. Leplant continues with his jokes. "Unfortunately they're sick, so Burgess and Gimbert will have to do!"

> Watch: Leplant arrives at The Slammer

Melvin is bored. He's locked up in his cell and can't find the batteries for his stereo. Peter Nokio and Titch have seen Jake Leplant has arrived. They recently saw him on Crimewatch. Melvin is shocked and tells Peter that he must not speak to Leplant, as he's a very dangerous criminal who should be locked up somewhere, and the key should be thrown away. Peter promises that he won't talk to Leplant.

Mr Burgess and Jeremy are in Leplant's cell. Leplant is reading a newspaper. "Mr Gimbert, could I ask you a question?" Leplant asks Jeremy. "How do you kill a circus?" Jeremy doesn't know the answer. "Go for the juggler!" Leplant jokes. Mr Burgess tells them to shut up. He doesn't want any more jokes. Leplant continues reading. "Oh, I see that detective has finally solved the case of the killer walnut. Took him ten years to crack it!" Jeremy laughs hysterically, but Mr Burgess isn't. "You might have gotten Gimbert, Leplant, he's as useful as chocolate toilet paper. But you won't get me, lad! I haven't laughed since I ran over that pigeon." Burgess recalls the memory. Leplant says he won't tell any more jokes, and asks if it's alright if he asks a serious question. "Why did the baker have brown fingers?" Frank doesn't know the answer. "Because he needed a poo!" Leplant replies. Mr Burgess loved the joke and starts laughing hysterically. With no prison wardens there to guard him, Leplant escapes from his cell.

> Watch: Leplant tries to make Mr Burgess laugh

It's nearly showtime, and Melvin and Pete are still in their cell when Jake Leplant comes in. Melvin says they're not talking to him, to which Leplant replies that he won't tell them what happened to Mr Burgess. Melvin and Pete are intrigued. "What happened to Mr Burgess?" Leplant starts telling his made-up story. A while later, Pete, Titch and Melvin find themselves tied up in their cell, still laughing with Leplant's jokes. "Pete, Melv, you've been a great audience. And that just about ties things up! Remember the golden rule of show business, escape the prison via the Freedom Show!" Leplant is planning to take out the whole audience, and all prison wardens with his jokes, in order to escape. He leaves the cell after putting on a CD with his jokes. Only, Leplant didn't know that there weren't any batteries in Melvin's CD player, so Melvin and Pete soon stop laughing and realise what has happened. They untie themselves and run to the Governor's office.

The Governor is getting ready for the Freedom Show. Jeremy and Mr Burgess are in his office as well. They say they haven't had any problems with Jake Leplant. "He's safely locked up in his cell and he certainly did not overpower me and Gimbert." Gimbert adds that Leplant is "definitely not at large, threatening everyone's lives". Melvin and Pete drop in, telling the Governor that "Leplant is at large, threatening everyone's lives". The Governor tells Mr Burgess to summon the guard. Leplant can't have gone far. "This time I want him bound and gagged" he adds. The audience has arrived, it's time for the Freedom Show!

The Freedom Show starts and the Governor starts introducing the acts to the audience, when Leplant runs on stage, making one joke after another. Fortunately, he's soon taken away to his cell, so the Governor can continue with the spectacular Freedom Show.

> Watch: Leplant takes over the Freedom Show
> Watch: Freedom Show - Duo Magic
> Watch: Freedom Show - The Black Eagles

The Results:
Tamara Puzanova / 73.6
Duo Magic / 92.3
Pupski / 91.3
The Black Eagles / 92.8

Leplant arrives at The Slammer

Jeremy Gimbert, Jake Leplant and Mr Burgess in the Governor's office

Melvin warns Peter about Leplant

Frank Burgess doens't like Leplant's jokes

Titch, Pete and Melvin are tied up

The Governor

Leplant takes over the Freedom Show

Mr Burgess asking opinions in the Freedom Show